I have noticed over the years, that people who see my work, get a bit confused about my dark art.
First of all, they cannot seem to bring together my visual appearance and the subject of my artworks. I get that. Looking at the fright- level of my illustrations, you might sooner expect me to be dressed as a Goth – girl. I mean, black or blue hair, piercings, tats, dark clothes with laces and tears are easier to associate with my spirits and haunted houses than my actual appearance, which is….. rather conservative. Yes, I wear preppy clothes: dark blue jumpers with a white collar peeping out. I look like your next good girl. Okay… okay… those who know me know I play around with selfies. But in daily life I dress and look traditionally.
And second, people seem to expect a different character to go with my subject matter. I understand this too. I am much more bubbly and light hearted than what my artworks look like. But…. isn’t it because of my dark art that I can be cheerful?
The thing is, my dark art is about darkness, rather than that it is dark of character. Like most of us, I have been through enough in my life, to be heavily influenced by the darkness I have seen. And I don’t mean this in a dramatic way, but more factual. What I absolutely don’t want to do with my art is to linger on drama or to dwell on my pain. To abuse trauma as a way to get attention. This would mean a need for victimhood and also a stand still in my development. And we cannot have that.
Nevertheless, darkness is a part of me that won’t go away. And it doesn’t have to. It is my good old friend, my houseguest. Wherever I go, it is there with me, like a dark corner in my mind. As a young girl I was able to teach myself how to take refuge in this darkness. I somehow instinctively knew how to turn the misery into something that I could relate to and live with. Something that protected me. I turned the monsters into my monsters. The beings you see in my artworks therefore are never just ‘evil’. They only ‘are’. My spirits, monsters, ghosts and ghouls carry just as much Eva in them, as I carry them in me. To get a bit Zen on you: we inter-are. But I think it’s no surprise that the transformation I am talking about does not have the form of flowers, sunsets and seascapes. That wouldn’t serve any purpose.
No Satanism for me. No gore, no pentagrams, no devil-worshipping. When you endure trauma in your life and you finally decide to give up on the light, only more trauma can come from that. So to me, this is no solution. Friend’s request from Satanists I often get, but I refuse.
For me, the trick is to transform the pain into something that can dwell within you without hurting you. So I say hello to my demon, I talk to it and I tell it it’s welcome to stay. Do have a cup of tea.… And as soon as you know, this scary demon turns out to be just as lonely and scared as I was in the first place…