Creation Frustration



Creation Frustration

A rant by Eva Mout, Ursus Art

Many times I have wished that being an artist would work the same as being an accountant, a shelf stocker or a mechanic. I mean, some jobs don’t really need inspiration or the right mindset or emotion. They just need to get done. I love to get up on the morning to find my task list on my desk and check all the boxes during the day: make new artwork, ship parcel to the USA, check payment, post ad on Facebook, etc. I LOVE IT!

But, as a mother of two boys and the wife of an ex -soldier, who used to be away much and now is in politics of all things, there never has been much time for me to set up my business as an artist. I didn’t even have enough time before I got married, because I then took care of my sweet mum for 10 years until she died. I have always had to divide my attention over several tasks and people. And, although I don’t regret any of the sacrifice I made, I now have a lot of built up frustration in my body and mind. I am 42. I want to get to WORK!

Me, frustrated.

Now that my boys are 11 and 14, I tend to get a bit more time to myself, perhaps 4 hours a day. I have started to try and produce more and get my work ‘out there’… and I must say, I am not doing too badly. But here’s the problem: All the energy that has been built up inside me over the last 20 years, wants to come out all at once! Uh – oh!

Me on a roll.

When I do have time, energy and inspiration to work…. then that’s fine. During those days I fly! I then produce new works, sell a few of them and enjoy every minute of the day! But as soon as something or someone gets in the way…. that is when I explode! For instance: I have been under the weather for two weeks now and I cannot accept that I am too tired to get anything done. I feel rage because of my fatigue. It has no right to stop me! Fatigue means no inspiration and that means bad or no artworks. I WILL NOT BE TIRED!

I know, I know, I need patience, a lot of it, but it feels I have run out of that. I wish I could buy a few kilos of patience on Ebay. Suggestions anyone?

Am I what is called a desperate housewife? I guess I am….. best get over myself…

Rant over,

Yours truly, Eva Mout, Ursus Art

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4 thoughts on “Creation Frustration

  1. patience and self love are tough, but it can be done … the fatigue would be a sign of something else. Your health, worries, etc … any idea?

    Anyway nice to meet you and welcome to WP 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Trouble within our political party my husband works for…. so many late nights! And those get me out of my sleeping pattern. I’ll be okay!
      I’m your new follower too. Nice to meet you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally understand. I’m used to painting 4-5 pieces a day, but I have been forced to find a “real job” so I am spending all the time I would be painting looking for work, it sucks. And it drains my creativity. I hope you get out of your funk soon, you have some brilliant ideas in there, they will come out again, I am sure of it!🤗

    Like

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