Many times I have wished that being an artist would work the same as being an accountant, a shelf stocker or a mechanic. I mean, some jobs don’t really need inspiration or the right mindset or emotion. They just need to get done. I love to get up on the morning to find my task list on my desk and check all the boxes during the day: make new artwork, ship parcel to the USA, check payment, post ad on Facebook, etc. I LOVE IT!
But, as a mother of two boys and the wife of an ex -soldier, who used to be away much and now is in politics of all things, there never has been much time for me to set up my business as an artist. I didn’t even have enough time before I got married, because I then took care of my sweet mum for 10 years until she died. I have always had to divide my attention over several tasks and people. And, although I don’t regret any of the sacrifice I made, I now have a lot of built up frustration in my body and mind. I am 42. I want to get to WORK!
Now that my boys are 11 and 14, I tend to get a bit more time to myself, perhaps 4 hours a day. I have started to try and produce more and get my work ‘out there’… and I must say, I am not doing too badly. But here’s the problem: All the energy that has been built up inside me over the last 20 years, wants to come out all at once! Uh – oh!
When I do have time, energy and inspiration to work…. then that’s fine. During those days I fly! I then produce new works, sell a few of them and enjoy every minute of the day! But as soon as something or someone gets in the way…. that is when I explode! For instance: I have been under the weather for two weeks now and I cannot accept that I am too tired to get anything done. I feel rage because of my fatigue. It has no right to stop me! Fatigue means no inspiration and that means bad or no artworks. I WILL NOT BE TIRED!
I know, I know, I need patience, a lot of it, but it feels I have run out of that. I wish I could buy a few kilos of patience on Ebay. Suggestions anyone?
Am I what is called a desperate housewife? I guess I am….. best get over myself…
Yours truly, Eva Mout, Ursus Art
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